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I took a warm shower and ended up just standing in there thinking for about half an hour. I feel so tired and now I have anxiety about everything. I guess I’m not who I use to be inside or outside. I wish I could understand where I lost a good portion of my confidence or why I am not interesting at all. I guess a twenty year old who just works, paints and goes home to play video games with internet friends isn’t to appealing. I mean, I won’t sell my self short. I know I do a lot more, but that is all people see. Well, most of them.

I also wish people would talk to me more. Though, that whole sentence about lack of confidence ties to this. I want to try seeing more friends though everyone shoots me down. Only Natalie ever wants to see me. I don’t know. I’m just bummed tonight, back to playing Warcraft all night. 

I guess in the end I want to be more social but I’m nervous because I want to find someone who likes to just stay inside with me. 

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  1. alexnoise posted this